Psychoblog

work is very busy at the moment and for the forseeable future (which all of a sudden looks quite hazy). people being demanding, which is fair enough, but need more time in between demands to actually carry demands out. not being slow or anything but poor head feels as though it is going to burst. maybe just not intellectual enough to deal with all this. that feeling compounded by fact i have just printed out monster paper full of physics this and mathematical equations that.

it is strange the way things have gone career wise. i did english lit and theatre studies at ‘a’ level (along with psychology). never thought i would end up being a scientist working alongside physicians, mathematicians and clinicians. none of what i do now comes easy to me like the arty things did, although i find this much more interesting and definitely more worthwhile. feel like i have left behind the things that i excel in to move into a world where i am decidedly average at best. the real question is whether this matters to me or not, since i’m not an ambitious person (not ambitious for career anyway). having said that, i suppose things are going quite well for me in this job. am i successfully blagging it, or do i just have too high expectations for what i need to be like to succeed and i’m actually doing just fine? just…got…to…get…this…phd. then i will be at the £32k* mark where i can’t fall back, can just go forwards.

* this is a who wants to be a millionaire reference.