Psychoblog

girls that post on the confetti forums, talking about the run up to their weddings, regularly mention dreams that they have had about their wedding going wrong or perfectly. i always read these and think that maybe they are getting a little too obsessed with their wedding if thoughts about it were invading their nighttime too. for the record, i like reading confetti because it’s amusing when you get the posts about mother-in-law-to-bes from hell and girls getting hysterical about their guests’ outfits not fitting in with their colour scheme.

a-n-y-way, to my annoyance i have had a wedding dream on 2 consecutive nights now and they have been a tad disturbing. in the first one everything was going swimmingly. all my friends and family had come, i was all ready in my dress and walking down the aisle with my dad when i noticed that the person standing at the bottom of the aisle waiting for me was another woman. when i reached her she ran off so she could have a go at walking down the aisle too. i thought oh poo, i don’t want to marry a woman, so i refused to go through with it and then cried because my parents had paid for everything and i had let them down.

the next night i was marrying the right person this time, in a big castle. all my old school mates were milling around ready to watch it all. i was walking around them in a big dress, but i hadn’t got a bra on and the dress kept slipping down revealing my bare chest to everyone. i was trying to find the loos so i could put my bra on, but all the loos seemed to have doors missing or windows in them so people could still see me. nobody around me noticed or cared though. i hate dreams like that, where you want to go to the loo or have a shower, but all the bathrooms you find are open plan. apparently these dreams are supposed to signify vulnerability or a fear of being ridiculed. i suppose this is quite accurate really. i picked up my dress yesterday you see. i have no doubts about the dress, i still love it, i’m just afraid that this jeans and t-shirt girl will look silly in it in front of everyone. stupid and vain i suppose. i hope.

hopefully tonight i will get back to the normal dreams of being killed.

i feel so rough today.