Psychoblog

so, yes it’s all public now. feels official. specially since today is the first day of the 2nd trimester.

i was really nervous for the scan yesterday. i said to carl that it would either be one of the best moments of our lives or one of the worst, and it is difficult not to feel anxious about that. was worried at first when the scanny woman was looking for baby, but it didn’t take her long to find the right spot. then it was just really amazing. i was watching this baby shaped blob on the tv and i could see a group of pixels flashing in the middle, which was baby’s heart beating away. people have said that this is when it starts to feel real, but i found it quite difficult to equate what was on the screen to what must be in my tummy.

the scanny woman checked baby from all different angles and measured baby from head to bum. she worked out from this how old the foetus really was and adjusted the due date from 5th december to 29th november, which made me a week further on than we thought. she said everything looked fine and that there was just the one baby there. have to say that the picture she took looks a bit poo compared to what we were seeing on the screen. i think she chose the worst moment to take it. but never mind, i’m sure baby really does have legs and doesn’t really have a beak.

i wish i had asked more questions and savoured the moment a bit more. i had to rush to the loo straight after she had finished because i had filled my bladder up so much for the scan that it was painful. by the time i came out the appointment was over. we had just had this monumental moment and it had whooshed by without me taking it all in properly. i think i just wanted to lie there and watch the heart beating away some more.

can’t wait til the next scan to see baby again.